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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
It's an age old question. Typically the response is no (pending that the dyad in question actually is heterosexual that is). And I'm starting to believe it.

One of my "good friends" laid it on me that he needs to spend time away from me because of his feelings blah blah blah. Now, this guy is older, and there is just no physical attraction for me. We make good friends because we both ride and we both like to go out for good food and drink. And our personalities mesh really well. There are no petty arguments. It's just easy to get along. He's said so many times how he values me as a friend and he's happy with me as a friend etc etc.

I kept thinking he was trying to convince himself more than me and now I'm right.

I don't click with women so I don't really have any female friends. We don't get along. We just have nothing in common. But apparently a nice ass and a pair of perfect breasts is a curse when it comes to friendship with men.


Which means I shall officially be a loner now.

So lay down the cards guys. :biggrin Can you be friends with the opposite sex? And ARE you friends with the opposite sex in a way that is almost devoid of sexual overtones?
 

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WE can absolutely be friends. I have plenty of female friends I wouldn't think about hooking up with. I do have hot friends that I'd love to date or hook up with but would never happen. There's always that chance of getting too close to the point of liking your friend sexually; however, to answer your question yes. I find Europeans are better at this then Americans, well at least the men.
 

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I think its harder for guys if the girl they are friends with happens to be really attractive. Naturally you would develop feelings for them id say, esp if your personalities matched. I do have a couple of female friends but they are by no means super models or anything and there isnt much physical attraction there, even tho i get along with them very well..

So yeh i guess its a disadvantage if your a hottie, you might have alot of guy 'firiends' with a hidden agenda. Although you would have an advantage of choosing from a number of interested guys. I dont mean to sound shallow or anything but its just the way it seems to be these days..
 

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It can be done, but if either person has any attraction to the other then there will always be that little issue of one wanting more. I have been on both sides and also went that extra step as well.

Now with that said, after a relationship in the past it is doable to be just friends. Some may think this crazy but one of my ex's of more then 15 year ago is like family and we even do xmass and holidays together with our families. Call it crazy but there are no issues and our kids love each other.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
I agree R1Lover, being friends with an ex is easier than being friends with someone new who wants to bang you. Because with the ex you've already been through it all and if you don't hate each others guts you can get along well enough.

I've been on both sides as well and it always sucks. The guys I am friends with where there is nothing are usually not single so that makes it easy, but at the same time we never become very good friends or hang out a lot.
 

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I think it's def. possible,,,
Personally, I have several that are soley platonic, been friends for years, and they are very attractive as well.. We've just been through so much together as friends, that we're simply not into each other in that way. Fooling around would mess up the friendship...
I have a dozen or so chics from my classes that I study with, get out with etc. Most of them are hot as hell, but are wayyy too young and have bf's..
....I do feel bad for your friend, but relationships/feelings have to be mutual. I wouldn't use too much time in convincing a chic whose not interested in me. At the same time I'm make my intentions of friendship clear with a chic who is into me, but the feelings not being mutual...
 

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I'd have to say no unless the male is spoken for. When I was single, I was never "just friends" with a woman that I wasn't fooling around with or wanted to fool around with. Once I got married, that changed. I now have female friends that are "just friends" to me but I it's still different than hangin out with the guys. I still treat women different because I'm an old fashion guy. Only problem I've found with this new found female freindship is, now I'm the one getting the fuck me eyes and the feeling that they want to be more than friends or have some sort of affair. I have 2 female friends that are "just friends" and we get along great but there is always some tension when my wife is around. I'd say, as a single good looking woman like you are, your going to have a very difficult time being "just friends" with any single male. Now, friends that fool around is a different story. Guys are always into that.. Before I got married, I had many what I call fuck buddies but as soon as the women wanted to be exclusive, I stopped hanging out with her. Hope this helps. Maybe I'm just too old fashion or just too old..
 

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Its possible...

I am friends with alot of ladies i know. But with the ones that look good, I do tend to have thoughts from time to time. Its hard, but possible. I do have a question though for other men... Is it me or when you have the female friends that look good do you sometimes think to yourself "dont look at her butt shes your friend?" im serious, i think that helps sometimes
 

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SarahJ said:
guys can be friends with girls if their roommate is dating them and can't do anything about it
are you sure?

sometimes roomates get
and one says, "i dont care"

and next thing you know
 

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yeah that's not gonna happen


there have been many...many drunken nights in this household... never came close
 

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They can be but the girl has to make it clear from the beginning that he's never going to get any because of ...(insert reasons here). Even then, guys will always wonder what it would be like.
 

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SarahJ said:
yeah that's not gonna happen


there have been many...many drunken nights in this household... never came close
LOL, yeah i just wanted to joke around a little...

But for people that are all friends, things happen....

Overall I think its just life. If you have a friend and you're getting along with someone is gonna fold and want more, its nature (lol @ the word nature)
 

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I think that its more or less impossible for a guy to have a "chick friend" that he treats EXACTLY the same as his guy friends, especially if that chick friend is good looking.

It's possible to be "just friends", but only until a certain point, I think that if you aren't careful, at some point or other, like juuust one drunken night of getting a liiittle too close, someone starts thinking "what if"... and then it gets weird if you dont work it out soon.

But it also depends on the people...
 

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:withstupid

yeah cause im friends with them but it doesnt stop me from saying things from time to time...

I think you cant be close friends (everyday friends). Its easier just to stay distant so the temptation doesnt occur
 

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i agree with the consensus here...it IS possible but its very hard if she happens to be very attractive.....i have many female friends and those that i did find attractive i ended up crossin the barrier but the "regular" ones i treat the same as my other friends
 
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