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Two guys from India emerged from a ship on Ellis Island, filled with dreams of becoming completely integrated into American culture.

As they got into a cab they asked the driver a simple question:

"What is the most 'American' thing we could do right this minute?"

The cabbie says, "Gee, I don't know ... Yankees are playing in a few minutes. Maybe go to a baseball game? Eat a hotdog?"

So they get the driver to take them to Yankee Stadium where they purchase tickets, go inside and get hotdogs. They find their seats and prepare to eat.

One of them pulls the bun apart, quickly closes it back and turns to his friend, a look of horror on his face.

"What part of the dog did you get?"
 

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A woman is in bed with her lover who also happens to be her husband's best friend. They make love for hours, and afterwards, while they're just laying there, the phone rings.

Since it is the woman's house, she picks up the receiver. Her lover looks over at her and listens, only hearing her side of the conversation.

Speaking in a cheery voice, the woman says, "Hello? Oh, hi. I'm so glad that you called. Really? That's wonderful. I am so happy for you. That sounds terrific. Great! Thanks. OK. Bye-bye."

She hangs up the telephone and her lover asks, "Who was that?"

"Oh," she replies, "that was my husband telling me all about the wonderful time he's having on his fishing trip with you."
 

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I went into a bar the other day and there was a guy there with a small dog watching sports on the TV.
Then the TV showed that his team had just won their game, his dog got all excited and started jumping around and yapping like crazy.
I asked "Does he always do that when your team wins a game?"
He said 'yep"
I said "so what does he do when you lose?"
He said "Somersaults"
I asked "how many somersaults does he do ?"

He said "well that depends on how far I kick him"
 

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Rocket said:
I went into a bar the other day and there was a guy there with a small dog watching sports on the TV.
Then the TV showed that his team had just won their game, his dog got all excited and started jumping around and yapping like crazy.
I asked "Does he always do that when your team wins a game?"
He said 'yep"
I said "so what does he do when you lose?"
He said "Somersaults"
I asked "how many somersaults does he do ?"

He said "well that depends on how far I kick him"
nice
 

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So the teacher says to the class..........can anyone use the word "urinate" in a sentence? Timmy raises his hand and replies, "My dog urinated on the carpet". Good says the teacher. Emily raises her hand and says, "My dad urinates alot when he drinks beer". Anyone else, says the teacher? And Johnny is in the back of the class waving his hand. The teacher says, "Ok Johnny". Johnny says..........." Ur an 8, but if your tits were bigger you'd be a 10".
 

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A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter
"What are you doing?" She asked.
"Hunting Flies" He responded.
"Oh! Killing any?" She asked.
"Yep, 3 males , 2 Females," he replied.
"How can you tell them apart?"
He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone
 

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loren said:
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter
"What are you doing?" She asked.
"Hunting Flies" He responded.
"Oh! Killing any?" She asked.
"Yep, 3 males , 2 Females," he replied.
"How can you tell them apart?"
He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone
 

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Here's one for ya:

Hilary Clinton shaves her pussy the night before the debate.Later on she comes to the podium & lifts up her skirt & says Read my lips-No more Bush!
 
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