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Discussion Starter · #2 ·
We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules
from the male side. These are our rules! Please note ... these are
all numbered '1' ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put
it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us
complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of
it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints
do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes, and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect
us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the
ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it
done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say
during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach,
for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have
no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act
like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth
the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an
answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.
Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared
to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster
trucks, motorcycles, etc...

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the
couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like
camping.

That is all. (My bad if this is a repost)
 

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635 Posts
sweet list, definately a must read for all ladies lol:lol
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Addendum from another user on another forum...

1. If we are under the same roof all day, we have spent the day together.
1. If we spent all day together--that was quality time no matter what we were doing.
1. If we spent the whole day with you last month, we don't need to do it again for the rest of the year.
1. If we told you we loved you in the last year, we don't need to say it again!
1. If we pay all the bills, rent, electric, food, etc, then we obviously love you.
1. If Number one immediately above is false, then we're just waiting for the next best thing that comes along.
1. If Number one immediately above is true, what are you complaining about--we're supporting your dependent @ss!
1. Don't ever ask me to make a decision between my bikes, cars and you: you will loose.
1. Don't ask us when we are going to get married, b/c if you are asking and we haven't asked, we're not going to--didn't you get the memo.
1. If we had sex and it wasn't anygood you'll never know, b/c you will never hear from us again.
1. If you stop sexing us, we will leave.
1. If you stop cooking for us we will leave.
1. If you stop cleaning and washing for us we will leave.
1. We will leave anyway, it's just a matter of time before we find the next best thing!
1. If you disagree with any of these rules, we don't care!
 

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At last a guy has the time to write this all down.

Finally the guys' side of the story.

We always here "THE RULES" from the female side. Now here "THE RULES" from the man side.

These are our "RULES"!

Please note....these are all numbered "1" on purpose

1. Men are "NOT" mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports, it's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Just let it be.

1. Crying is "BLACKMAIL".

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints "DO NOT WORK"!
Strong hints "DO NOT WORK"!
Obvious hints "DO NOT WORK"!
"JUST SAY IT"!

1. "YES" and "NO" are perfectlyacceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem "ONLY" if you want help solving it. That's what we do. "SYMPATHY" is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said "6 MONTHS AGO" is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become "NULL" and " VOID" after 7 days.

1.If you think you're "FAT", you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two different ways and one of the ways makes you "SAD" or "ANGRY" we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done "NOT BOTH". If you already know the best how to do it.
"JUST DO IT YOURSELF"!

1.Whenever possible, "PLEASE" say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus "DID NOT" need directions and neither "DO WE".

1. "ALL" mensee in only 16 colors, like windows default settings. Peach for example, is a fruit not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what muave is...

1. If it itches, it will be scracthed. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "NOTHING", we will act like nothings wrong. We know you are lying but, it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, "ABSOLUTELY" anything you wear is fine...."REALLY".

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as..."BASEBALL" or "MOTORSPORTS".

1. "YOU" have enough clothes.

1. "YOU" have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape, "ROUND" is a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know I have to sleep on the couch tonight. But, did you know men really don't mind that? "IT'S LIKE CAMPING".

THANKS.....ENJOY
 
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