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Brahptimus Prime
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I was going through some old documents on my computer, and I came across something I wrote a while back. I got frustrated with all the stupidity on a certain gsxr forum, and from that... the following post was born. Enjoy...


Titled: "Are you a Squid or Troll? Come on in!"

"Some of you trolls may remember me from a thread where you got butt hurt, where you attempted to insult someone or where you just said something flat out stupid. For those of you who don't know me, now you do. You may also be familiar with my busniess partner RJM. I'm sure he will contribute to this thread as well. Let's get to it..

There comes a time in every persons life when he or she feels the need to go online and search for a group of their peers that enjoy a common hobby or interest. That quest has led some of you here,to gixxer.com. While I don't try to discourage new comers to the site, I do recommend you reveiw this post before posting. Make sure you have a pen and paper handy... here we go...

First, watch this video. Be sure to take notes, It will be on the quiz! I've provided a link below. Go ahead and watch it i'll wait...

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/posting



Alright, Welcome back. I hope that video answered a lot of your questions, and at the same time prevented alot of them. However, if you still have any questions regarding the video you just saw.. please do ask. I'll be happy to elaborate on any given point. Are we ready to move on? Good. Below you will find your quiz. There is no time limit, please post up your answer sheet and I will not only grade them, but provide feedback on your wrong answers. Good luck...

1) When making you first post you should...

a) Post up that gnarly picture with you doing a wheelie in shorts with no helmet weaving in and out of cars. (bonus points for girlfriend on the back)
Tell us about how you raced a space shuttle and beat him by 60 lengths. ( video? oh.. well... it was like... just me and him and no one else saw it.. but it happened!)
c) Make an introductory post telling us what you are about and your bike.
d) Ask how big of a turbo you can add to your bike, even if it requires you to add a sidecar to fit it on. ( because regular gsxr 1000's aren't fast enough for your first bike)
e) Tell us about a bike that you wish you had and/or will be getting in the year 2073.

2) When you have a question you should...

a) Instantly make a thread within every section of GDC hoping that someone will answer you. (NO ONE CAN HEAR MY COMMENTS!!!!!)
Do a keyword search and see if anything related has been posted previously.
c) Get pissed off and start an e-fight when someone tells you to search. ( and no, your dad CAN'T beat up my dad fyi. )
d) Type like you talk, YO dawg I wuz wuNdrin If AnYwun wAnTs to StretCh deY ByKe ND dYp tHat BeEch -N- ChRoMe ND gO 2 StahBuKs nD beE St8 thUhgin at ByKe NyTe WiT maH.

3) When insulted in a thread you should...

a) Retaliate instantly! Fuck that guy! He's a dick and I am far superior to him even though he's an established member that knows what he's talking about!
Tell him HE is an e-thug and wouldn't do anything if he were face to face with you. How bad you would kick his ass, he has no idea!
c) Only retaliate if you can prove them wrong, and/or come up with something funny and intelligent ( possibly get some thicker skin while your at it.)
d) Drive to their trailer and burn it down. ( actual news story )

4) When you see someone disagreeing with someone else at a civil level or over a legitamate cause you should....

a) Tell them how they are a one sided asshole who can't appreciate anything unless it's how they want it.
Just keep YOUR opinion to yourself, do you really want to be bashed? I assure you it will come. (anyone ever tell you squids smell like fromunda cheese?)
c) Call everyone a Nazi and asshole for suggesting the use of gear. (who needs skin? pfft over rated!)
d) TRY to insult one of the Bearers of Peace and Joy* squad. (*Registered trademark not to be copied and or reproduced without the permission of the owner, Other trademarks are the property of their respective owners.)

5) True or False:

You know everything, no one can possibly give you any input that can benefit you. Anyone that disagrees with you is a communist bastard, a nazi so to speak...

You are invincible to Chuck Norris' roundhouse kicks. You can believe it's not butter and you can outride anyone on anybike, regardless if you have a flat tire no sprocket a dead battery and your only source of propulsion is an electric fan that cuts in and out.

You can solve for X with only X.

-End Quiz-

At this point some of you trolls maybe like "where the hell does this guy get off? Who does he think he is to call ME a troll?" Well my squidly compadres... It's just one of those things. It's what I do. When you say such things as:

"Will this rotary engine from my friend's RX7 fit onto my gsxr 600?"

"What's the biggest shot of Nawwwwws I can put on my bike? I just got it for my first bike and it's not fast enough"

"Is there anyway I can stretch this bike so far that it will be in two different state capitals at the same time?"

"Some guy at work said his dick was bigger than mine"

"Some guy at work said that he would win if we did a roll on with his 2006 gsxr vs my 2006.1 gsxr"

"Why does my bike only do "186" ? I can't keep up with the funny cars"

"Are we there yet?"

"What's love got to do, got to do with it?"

"No one on a 600 can beat me, guys with 600s have small dicks and can't handle a 1000"

"No one on a 1000 can beat me, guys with 1000s have small dicks and can only go straight"

"Why doesn't my bike do a wheelie at 150?"

"I have an unlimited supply of cash, what should I do to MY bike"?

"How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?"

"There's no way a car can ever beat MY bike..."


"What's the SET valve and how do I make it go away? I don't know what it does but it's got to go! I'm doing some weight reduction for roll ons with laser guided missiles, every pound counts!"

The list is very long, I could do this all day. You get the idea. So now maybe you have an idea how to avoid getting that dreaded troll/squid label. If not, have mercy on your soul.

Feel free to insult me here ,but refer to # 3, 4, and 5 of the quiz and make sure that you know what you are doing first.

There may be more to come later, so keep your game face on!"
 

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I remember that... RJM has been MIA for a long time.. I need to give him a call or or shoot him a text and see whats up.. He may even be deployed now.. I will try and find out..
 

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thats pretty funny... although I think that most of us here (on GFN) have definitely already reached "post whore" status... or are very close to it... but at least no one here is anywhere near as much of a thickheaded asshole to have a disgruntled fellow poster devote a good couple hours to creating a post of this magnitude
... awesome shit James
 

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That shiite was straight comedy man. Damn I wish I had been more active on GDC cause I would have definitely added to that. Between PCP, Flounder, and me there's probably a good 3 days worth of laughs to read on GDC. Someone should hotlink all the "GDC Classics" into this thread for hours of reading entertainment.

I'm just waiting for someone to start celebrating Kurtis Roberts before I FTFO!:biggrin
 

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Brahptimus Prime
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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
RJM said:
That shiite was straight comedy man. Damn I wish I had been more active on GDC cause I would have definitely added to that. Between PCP, Flounder, and me there's probably a good 3 days worth of laughs to read on GDC. Someone should hotlink all the "GDC Classics" into this thread for hours of reading entertainment.

I'm just waiting for someone to start celebrating Kurtis Roberts before I FTFO!:biggrin
he isn't even in GP this year is he? I didn't see him in the rider line up.
 

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Plastic Cup Politics said:
he isn't even in GP this year is he? I didn't see him in the rider line up.
Maybe there is a God. Hey man, this should jog some old memories:

Courtesy of GDC:



Quote:
Originally Posted by Kenlucky Kid
As I posted above. According to YOU (and other half wits), ALL the B-stone riders are fucking idiots who dont know how to "manage" their tyres. I guess they should have asked you for advice, as well as 1QIKNOODLE

But, aside from a MOUNTAIN of evidence that does not support your BS.... end Quote
Quote:
Originally Posted by RJM
I can't really follow what nonsensical point you think you're trying to make to me other than the fact that you must work for the Department of Redundancy Department filing records of recorded recordings. I never said anyone was a "fucking idiot" but I will now. You're a fucking idiot. Aww and how cute, you rolled your little ****** ass e-eyes at me too like a fucking pop tart. Aren't you brave....... As for your assumption at and assertion that I'm a halfwit along with apparently everyone who has a conflicting viewpoint, bravo. Leave it to the fucking retard to start making comments about people being stupid. Well done Kenfucky kid or whatever you call yourself. And for the record I never stated that they should have asked me for advice nor did 1QIKNOODLE, but apparently YOU seem to have some delusions that YOU are the world's foremost tire expert so perhaps they'd all be well served to seek your advice before continuing on with their motoGP careers? I mean certainly an expert of your caliber should be managing a team somewhere over in Europe instead of trolling around GDC wasting your vast wealth of knowledge on us underlings. I almost feel left out that you haven't used your signature reference to lap times and charts to me yet............3.............2...........1 I mean after all, isn't that this Zionic MOUNTAIN of evidence you speak of? One fucking race where bridgestone riders picked the wrong fucking tire and the fact that someone finished however many seconds behind someone else and was turning slower lap times????? Damn, I must have missed that column on the year end results. You know, the one that shows each riders cumulative total lap times for the entire season, and their cumulative average lap times for the season. Fuck, how did I miss that? Now I have it all figured out, they calculate each riders average yearly lap times and overall number of seconds behind other riders when calculating points. That's a lot of math. Good thing they have braniacs like you out there to help them with that and all of their other important decisions.end Quote

And here's another gem:

Quote:
Originally Posted by spongebob
jesus fucking christ PCP, thats not what i said....i want a winner to win..not place 3rd through forth and then get a championship....you know like rossi did..on a new bike he never seen before..remember??

Quote:
Originally Posted by RJM
Again with this stupid ass statement. "I want a winner to win, not uhhhhh win " That's some straight Beavis and Butthead argumentative logic right there. And what's worse is that this is the 2nd time you've used it in the same day.

Quote:
Originally Posted by spongebob
you guys are right...nicky is the champion that he earned..winning is not important, what is, is how you raced that day..as long as you tried really hard..feck it then finishing 3rd is enough..
my 6 year old grand son plays soccer under those rules..theres no winners and just playing is enough......
this country and its values are down the toilet..all so wana be's dont get their "feelings" hurt..and can "compete"....


Quote:
Originally Posted by RJM
Oh great. And here we go with the political debate now. Apparently finishing as Nicky did, be it 3rd, 2nd, 1st, 4th or wherever was enough wasn't it? Well, no ones standing in the way of you manning up your grandson sponge. Feck it, next time he gets a trophy at the end of a season when his team didn't "earn" it just tell him he isn't really a champion and that he doesn't deserve it, then make him give it back. Better yet, after his team wins by a couple forfeits make sure you tell the whole team how shitty they are and that those wins shouldn't count for their season record. Great example sponge. Wasn't it you who said "be consistent if you dare?" Well, go on hero, BE CONSISTENT. Go forth and destroy the joy and happiness kids get out of competing and turn them all into self-centered, winning is everything, proud american bigots like yourself.
 

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Brahptimus Prime
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Discussion Starter · #14 ·


Yeah hopefully none of those people make it over this way, They always started trouble then when someone proved them wrong or called them out... All hell broke loose and they started trying to attack someone who they should have never messed with to being with.

Don't worry, we will eject those kind of trouble makers far before they make us write an insult novel about them.
 

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Plastic Cup Politics said:


Yeah hopefully none of those people make it over this way, They always started trouble then when someone proved them wrong or called them out... All hell broke loose and they started trying to attack someone who they should have never messed with to being with.

Don't worry, we will eject those kind of trouble makers far before they make us write an insult novel about them.
Excellent. Hey I requested the free Red R. How long does it take before it shows up?
 
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